How To Pick Up Moms: A Practical Guide To Making Mom Friends

hands of two women holding white mugs filled with coffee. presumably on a coffee date. title of the blog is how to pick up moms: a practical guide to making mom friends for by Jessica Potts

Hey y’all! It’s Jess! I am back and loaded with lots of info for all of you!

Let’s talk friends. Specifically, let’s talk MOM friends.

Wilma from the Flintstones putting her finger into a baby bassinet and getting bitten. Betty laughing. For blog post by Jessica Potts

I have always had lots of friends. I could make friends sitting at the airport. In fact, that IS how I made one of my best friends.

I had NO idea what making MOM friends would be like. I just assumed they would all hear I had a baby and come line up at my door with muffins and play date invitations. That happens right?

image of woman in a white top holding up muffins for blog post. "Why, when, where, and how to make mom friends." by Jessica Potts.

Turns out, making mom friends is not always simple.

Don’t worry though mama. There are TONS of mom’s just like you waiting to be asked out on a playdate.

Let’s get down to the details-

First, WHY do you even need friends?

When you become a mom, you get completely lost in your own world with this new tiny human you have been entrusted to keep safe and alive. This can happen whether it is your first or your fifth baby! Check out Erin’s Self Care for Parents blog for more info on possible ways to care for yourself.

exhausted mom rocking her baby through the day and night for blog post by Jessica Potts

Us moms get so caught up with all the new baby things that we are lucky to just be able to feed ourselves so making mom friends isn’t always at the top of the list. Should that stop you? Heck no.

In fact, TONS of studies have shown how important friendships are for a mother’s mental health. A UCLA research team has found that women (not just mothers) don’t simply opt for the normal “fight or flight” response but instead, women lean heavily on social support from friends. Read the study here. Social media is great for keeping long-distance relationships alive but it is no substitute for spending time together in person. Anyone who has moved away from family and friends can attest to this fact.

gif of women from sex and the city laughing together while walking down the streets for post. Blog post "The why, when, where, and how of making mom friends" by Jessica Potts.

Also, let’s be real for a minute here, other moms just GET IT.

Have you got a mystery (possible poop/vomit) stain on your shirt? No problem! I probably have one too! This is why I only wear black now.  

Ron Swanson holding a lite bright with the word 'poop' written on it for blog post by Jessica Potts

You running super late to your 9:00am playdate because your baby decided to have a blow out the MINUTE you walked out the door? No worries! My kid vomited on herself and me and my front door so I am also running late!

the white rabbit from Alice in wonderland looking at a clock and exclaiming 'I'm late!

Your house looks like a tornado hit it in the middle of the night? Same, girl! My babe is currently teething and only allows me to set her down for 30 seconds at a time! Not much time for cleaning.

image of messy house with laundry on the couch, laundry basket on the floor and boxes on the floor for post. Blog post "The why, when, where, and how of making mom friends" by Jessica Potts.

Poop stories? Share them! I can’t wait to hear them! WE GET IT!

Now, you know WHY you need friends but WHERE and WHEN do you make these mythical mom friends?

This is easy.


Moms are everywhere: parks, grocery stores, doctor’s appointments, walking around the block, and so on and so forth.

If you see a mom you think you might like, ask her on a play date or for coffee? You might be the mom friend she has been waiting for.  

Shaq doing the shimmy for blog post by Jessica Potts

We know the WHY, WHERE, and the WHEN but HOW do you make a mom friend?

This is a little harder. It might require you to step out of your comfort zone but you can do it, mama! I believe in you!

First thing is first, you want to spot the possible mom friend.

Once you have spotted the mom you think you could be friends with (maybe her baby is the same age as your baby? Or maybe she just has awesome dance moves?) Either way, it’s working for you and you’re on your way to making a mom friend.

gif of mom dancing and hitting her child with her butt accidentally for post. Blog post "The why, when, where, and how of making mom friends" by Jessica Potts.

Second, walk towards said mom.

This is hard. I know. It is so easy to get caught up in the daydream of the beautiful friendship that could be and all the coffee dates you’re going to be having and laughs you will share. Snap out of it mama and get to walking!

two African American women laughing together while eating for blog post by Jessica Potts

Third, smile and comment (this can be a “pick-up line”).

My favorite mom pick-up line right now is a simple one: “Your baby is soooo cute!!! How old is he/she?” Every mom thinks their baby is the most adorable baby ever (because they are!) but it’s always nice to hear it from someone else.

image of baby smiling and posing with hands under chin for post. Blog post "The why, when, where, and how of making mom friends" by Jessica Potts.

Fourth, ask the dreaded question.

THIS IS YOUR TIME! Ask that mama, “would you like to set up a playdate?”

If you’re a bit shy, start slow and ask for her number.

I find it is easiest for me to GIVE my number rather than ask for it but then you are risking not getting a call or the possible mom friend forgetting.

image of two women talking and one woman holding a baby for post. Blog post "The why, when, where, and how of making mom friends" by Jessica Potts.

Personally, I would say something along the lines of “we should get them (the babies) together for a playdate. (Hopefully,  possible mom friend is shaking her head in agreement or smiling so you can continue) Let me give you my number and you can let me know when is best for you!”

Last but not least, ENJOY your new mom friend!

YOU DID IT! Dive on in and enjoy having another adult to communicate with! Well done, mama! gif of mom from "mean girls" saying "i'm a cool mom" for post. Blog post "The why, when, where, and how of making mom friends" by Jessica Potts.

What are some of your favorite places to make friends? Any “pick up lines” that have worked for you?