Hey y’all! It’s Jess! I am back and loaded with lots of info for all of you!
Let’s talk friends. Specifically, let’s talk MOM friends.
I have always had lots of friends. I could make friends sitting at the airport. In fact, that IS how I made one of my best friends.
I had NO idea what making MOM friends would be like. I just assumed they would all hear I had a baby and come line up at my door with muffins and play date invitations. That happens right?
Turns out, making mom friends is not always simple.
Don’t worry though mama. There are TONS of mom’s just like you waiting to be asked out on a playdate.
Let’s get down to the details-
First, WHY do you even need friends?
When you become a mom, you get completely lost in your own world with this new tiny human you have been entrusted to keep safe and alive. This can happen whether it is your first or your fifth baby! Check out Erin’s Self Care for Parents blog for more info on possible ways to care for yourself.
Us moms get so caught up with all the new baby things that we are lucky to just be able to feed ourselves so making mom friends isn’t always at the top of the list. Should that stop you? Heck no.
In fact, TONS of studies have shown how important friendships are for a mother’s mental health. A UCLA research team has found that women (not just mothers) don’t simply opt for the normal “fight or flight” response but instead, women lean heavily on social support from friends. Read the study here. Social media is great for keeping long-distance relationships alive but it is no substitute for spending time together in person. Anyone who has moved away from family and friends can attest to this fact.
Also, let’s be real for a minute here, other moms just GET IT.
Have you got a mystery (possible poop/vomit) stain on your shirt? No problem! I probably have one too! This is why I only wear black now.
You running super late to your 9:00am playdate because your baby decided to have a blow out the MINUTE you walked out the door? No worries! My kid vomited on herself and me and my front door so I am also running late!
Your house looks like a tornado hit it in the middle of the night? Same, girl! My babe is currently teething and only allows me to set her down for 30 seconds at a time! Not much time for cleaning.
Poop stories? Share them! I can’t wait to hear them! WE GET IT!
Now, you know WHY you need friends but WHERE and WHEN do you make these mythical mom friends?
This is easy.
ANYWHERE YOU GO!
Moms are everywhere: parks, grocery stores, doctor’s appointments, walking around the block, and so on and so forth.
If you see a mom you think you might like, ask her on a play date or for coffee? You might be the mom friend she has been waiting for.
We know the WHY, WHERE, and the WHEN but HOW do you make a mom friend?
This is a little harder. It might require you to step out of your comfort zone but you can do it, mama! I believe in you!
First thing is first, you want to spot the possible mom friend.
Once you have spotted the mom you think you could be friends with (maybe her baby is the same age as your baby? Or maybe she just has awesome dance moves?) Either way, it’s working for you and you’re on your way to making a mom friend.
Second, walk towards said mom.
This is hard. I know. It is so easy to get caught up in the daydream of the beautiful friendship that could be and all the coffee dates you’re going to be having and laughs you will share. Snap out of it mama and get to walking!
Third, smile and comment (this can be a “pick-up line”).
My favorite mom pick-up line right now is a simple one: “Your baby is soooo cute!!! How old is he/she?” Every mom thinks their baby is the most adorable baby ever (because they are!) but it’s always nice to hear it from someone else.
Fourth, ask the dreaded question.
THIS IS YOUR TIME! Ask that mama, “would you like to set up a playdate?”
If you’re a bit shy, start slow and ask for her number.
I find it is easiest for me to GIVE my number rather than ask for it but then you are risking not getting a call or the possible mom friend forgetting.
Personally, I would say something along the lines of “we should get them (the babies) together for a playdate. (Hopefully, possible mom friend is shaking her head in agreement or smiling so you can continue) Let me give you my number and you can let me know when is best for you!”
Last but not least, ENJOY your new mom friend!
What are some of your favorite places to make friends? Any “pick up lines” that have worked for you?